The success of New Year’s resolutions, like many human endeavors, are greatly reliant upon the beholder of the goal and their will power. If you want to get in shape, you can get in shape. If you want to eat differently, you can eat better. Often times our New Year’s resolutions are nothing that is based on talent or chance or circumstance. Most of our new undertakings are something well within our control. And it is no different with battling pornography, really. If you really want to stop watching porn, then you can stop… IF you really want to stop.
Last month, I wrote a post: 10 Strategies to Fight Pornography. And indeed, all of those strategies would definitely help someone who is struggling with pornography, as those are a blueprint to get to the desired goal. But I premised it with none being more important than #1, the mindset. And with the season of New Year’s resolutions upon us, I thought I’d explore that mindset more thoroughly. Because at the end of the day, no one is going to stop watching pornography, no one is going to eat better, and no one is going to get in shape, if they don’t truly have the mindset and ‘want to’ to do it. That is the bottom line. I know it. And you know it. The failed New Year’s resolutions of our past know it.
If you think about the goals you have achieved in life, I’m sure you dedicated time, effort, and work toward them. And I’m also pretty sure you likely dedicated some level of mindset toward winning at that goal. If you made a goal to give up TV so you can finish writing your book, and you achieved that and finished your dang book, then you probably lived up to your omitting TV. If you won, your mindset kept you in a place in order to win. Your mental strength led to victory. That is always going to be true.
In order to truly overcome pornography, one has to adopt a winning mindset. That is where it starts. A mindset that is locked in and is dedicated to victory of the desired goal of no porn. I love what Gary Wilson from yourbrainonporn.com says about it. He explains: “You will only be able to go long periods of time without porn when watching porn is no longer an option in your life. I call it the “Porn is NOT an Option” mindset. The men that have this mindset live as if porn didn’t exist. They completely forget about porn. They do not spend their day fighting urges. They are not “trying hard”. Urges are dismissed almost instantly. You have to be OK with the idea that you will never watch porn ever again in your life.” Boom. You can’t watch it. It doesn’t exist. You have to put that winning mindset into place. You have to set your mind: I don’t watch porn. Period. I will not watch it. It is gone from my life.
I firmly believe in those 10 strategies I wrote about. But I believe, even more so, in the human spirit and the willpower within us to achieve victory. I have seen this in my life and in so many others around me.
But the flip side reality of this is that so many people fail at their goals. So many people say one thing and do another. So many people say they ‘want’ something, but they don’t adopt a real mental framework and stick to it. As mentally powerful as so many of us are, there are just as many who are mentally weak. And some of us live within both extremes, depending on the arena of our life we are looking at.
But nonetheless, even with all of the failed New Year’s resolutions I have witnessed in my lifetime, I still believe you can do it. I still believe people can get in shape, eat better, and I believe people can stop watching pornography. I believe people can do anything they set their mind to. If they truly take on that winning mindset, they can win. And once you do adopt that mindset, victory will come.
For me, this mindset has gotten easier as time goes on. The longer you are away from porn, the more you want to continue winning. If you have been away a month or a year or two plus years like me, it just gets easier. The option of pornography does fade, as if it doesn’t exist… because at the end of the day, it doesn’t exist. Your victorious mindset says so.
So this New Year, I wish you all the best in whatever endeavors and resolutions you wish to tackle. And whether it be with pornography or anything else, I hope you adopt the mindset necessary for achieving your goal. If you do, you will win.
Good luck and Happy New Year.
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This is one awesome blog post. Really thank you! Keep writing. Dalenna